Is he a keeper?

Soooo you’ve been through the whole dating game! Downloaded every single app to meet the perfect one, been on countless number of dates and maybe even deleted all the apps to only download them back again. Oh yes I know that cycle! You’ve had the pleasure of meeting Mr heartbreaker, Mr sleezebag, Mr I look nothing like my pics, Mr too nice… and it’s been a very long time since you’ve actually met someone that you genuinely like, and then you do! And guess what? he likes you too! Yay! Congratulations! Deleting all those dating apps has never felt more liberating and you can finally invest your time with someone worthwhile. You now have someone to hold hands with and kiss whenever you want, hooooray! HOWEVER it’s still early days and you’re wondering whether this guy is for the long haul or just for now. In no way is this the 6 commandments but a rough guide to help you sniff him out better… so let’s start…


is key! So put that phone down. WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook later. You already know you’re both attracted to each other and get along which is great but if you really want to make a go of things then you really have to get to know him. After all it has taken you so long to find him and you don’t want to waste any more time either! Ask him things like, ‘what’s on your bucket list?’ Understand what makes him tick and what doesn’t. Does his morals, values and goals match yours? This will strengthen your relationship and help you lovebirds connect emotionally. Equally he should get to know you too and if he does then he’s a keeper.


but not too much! Remember to carry on being you! That’s what made him fall for you in the first place. If you feel like you are slowly losing yourself in this relationship rather than flourishing then you need to ask yourself why? Being in a relationship does require compromise but it’s got to be a healthy one. Have you compromised on what makes you happy? Carry on going to that yoga class, give time to your blogs, meet the girls for drinks! If he questions you otherwise then he is not the one! You’re allowed to carry on being you. The right man will support you not question you.


about your hobbies and dreams! Spinning off from the compromise point if he shows an interest in what makes you happy then he is a keeper. For example, ‘I got you tickets to that theatre show you’ve always wanted to go’ or ‘I know you like salsa so I found a salsa class near your work. Maybe we can go together?’ or if he says something like, ‘I believe in you. You will be a successful musician.’ These are all good signs of a keeper. Not only does he listen and shows an interest but he also cares and encourages you.


each other! Debates with your partner can be stimulating and sometimes the deal-breaker. It can really test the relationship and bring out a side to him you haven’t seen before. It’s important that he respects your thoughts, ideas and what matters to you. For example a healthy discussion might go like this, ‘I understand what you mean but I feel…’ as supposed to, ‘you’re wrong.’ ‘That’s ignorance.’ ‘You need to change.’ In no way should you feel shut down or feel your opinions are not valued by him. If mutual respect is not there then he is not a keeper.

5. SEX…

Sorry Ranjan (mum)! – I doubt you will ever read this and if you do then you can’t exactly kick me out, cos wait… I don’t live at home anymore, hehe! So, physical contact is important and will bring you lovebirds closer together. You need to know what he likes, what turns him on and what you like/dislike. Go to that embarrassing section in boots, slip on some sexy lingerie and just have fun! You might discover your body is capable of doing some remarkable things and the only way to find out is to experiment. Stay safe!


with your friends and family! It’s a good feeling when everyone gets along. No one’s saying to be the dream team but if he enjoys spending time with your friends and family without clock watching then keep him! It’s important that he makes an effort with the people that means the most to you.

Riya Write


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